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Friendship Fixes|修复友谊

Friend or Foe2 是朋友还是对手?
Q:My friend and I are really competitive. We try to outdo3 each other at everything: sports, grades, boys, whatever. We fight over who is better, but we always make up4. Does this friendship sound normal?
A: Sounds like your friendship is a little on the unhealthy side. It's normal to be competitive sometimes, but competing over everything is going to hurt your relationship. Friends should support each other, not trying to beat each other. Next time your bud5 does something better than you, congratulate her.

Mama Says 朋友妈妈对我有意见
Q: My friend's mom doesn't like me and says we can't hang out. We still see each other at school, but we want to do stuff6 together on weekends. I don't want my friend in trouble. What should I do?
A: Find out why your friend's mom doesn't like you.  Has she given a reason, like you've been in trouble at school? If so, you'll have to prove to her that you're a worthy friend. If his mom can't give you a real reason, ask your friend to talk to her or have your parents give her a call. Whatever you do, don't try to hang out on the sly7—you'll only get caught and then her mom really will have a reason not to like you!

The Weakest Link 没有不透风的墙
Q:I told my best friend a secret that she promised to keep, but people found out She's the only person I told. When I asked her if she had leaked my secret, she denied it. How can I trust her anymore?
A: Are  you  positive8  no  one  else could have found out your secret another way, like your little sister reading it in your diary or something? If your friend is really the only person who could have told it to other people, then you need to confront9 her again. Ask her to explain. If she apologizes, remember that everyone makes mistakes. But if she still denies, keep your secrets to yourself in the future.

New Girl 校内校外不一样?
Q:I recently started going to a new school. I've made some friends, but after school I know they hang out with each other and never invite me. Why do they hang with me inside of school, but ignore10 me after the bell rings?
A: It's great that you've met new people, but it can take a while for true friendships to grow. These girls or boys may need more time to get to know you better before inviting you into their group. But if you want to move your friendship to an after-school level, make the plans yourself and invite them.

She's Prettier 她比我好看!
Q: My new friend is really pretty. Guys used to tell me I was pretty, but nobody notices me now. I don't want to lose my friend, but my feelings are really hurt.
A: Don't punish your friend for being pretty. Dumping11 her because you're jealous would be really shallow. Remember, you're as pretty as you were before. Besides, guys like girls who are self-confident. We always get letters from guys saying that they like girls who aren't afraid to talk and who have a sense of humor.

Making the Grade 他的分数比我高!
Q: My  best  friend doesn't study at all, but he gets better grades than I do. I want to be happy for him, but I get jealous because I have to study a lot. Is there something wrong with me?
A: It's natural to feel jealous when somebody else does something quite well without effort, but you got to remember that we all have strengths and weaknesses. You may be great at tennis, for example, but your friend can't even hit a ball. Try to focus on what makes you special.

Two-faced 她当面一套背后一套!
Q: My friend  talks  about  people behind their backs, then acts like their best friend. Recently, I found a letter from her to another bud about me and it said a lot of hurtful stuff. How could I be sure she won't do it again?
A: Why should you want to be friends with someone who's two-faced and says hurtful stuff about you? you deserve better than that. Let this girl know she's being totally uncool and is going to end up alone if she keeps treating people this way. Whether or not you give her a second chance is up to you.

He's Soooo Bossy 他太爱指手划脚了!
Q: My friend is usually pretty cool when it's just the two of us, but he becomes a totally different person when we're around our other friends. He gets so bossy. It's like he doesn't want me around.
A: It  sounds  like  your  friend is a little jealous of you and is looking for attention. A true friend will always respect and encourage you, not tear you down. Honesty is very important in any relationship, and it might help if you're open with him and explain your concerns.

Change of Scenery12 为什么不让我去她家玩?
Q: My friend comes over to my house every day. She always has an excuse why we can't hang at her house. I don't always want to be at home, so how can I get her to ask me over to her place?
A: Sounds  like  something's  up at your bud's house. Maybe her parents are fighting, or her brother or sister is bugging13 her, or maybe it's just really messy14! Suggest that you meet at her house, and if she says no, ask her if everything is all right at home. Give her a chance to talk about it. If you're really sick of hanging at your house, meet her at the shop, park or library. That way, you're both happy.

One-sided Friendship 只同甘不共苦?
Q: My  friend  is  fun to talk with, but when I want to talk about my problems, she's never there for me—she just changes the subject. What should I do?
A: Before you talk with her about your problems, make it clear that you want her help and trust her opinion. You'll know if she's a real friend if she doesn't turn her back when the going gets tough15—or when it's not all about her.

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1. trustworthy  adj. 值得依赖的
2. foe  n. 敌人
3. outdo  v. 比……做得更好
4. make up 和好
5. bud  n. (俚)小家伙
6. stuff  n. 事情
7. on the sly [slai](俚)偷偷地
8. positive  adj. 确信

9. confront  v. 面对
10. ignore  v. 不理睬
11. dump  v. 抛弃
12. scenery  n. 风景
13. bug  v. 惹恼
14. messy  adj. 一团糟的
15. 本句意为:假如事情不顺时她没有弃你而去,你就可以知道她是真正的朋友。