Craig, a close friend of mine in graduate school, brought energy and life into any room he entered. He focused his entire attention on you while you were talking, and you felt more important than you had before he started listening. People loved him.
One sunny autumn day, Craig and I were sitting in our usual study area. I was staring out the window when I noticed one of my professors crossing the parking lot.
“I don't want to run into1 him,” I said.
“Why not?” Craig asked.
I explained that the previous spring semester the professor and I had parted on bad terms. I had taken offense at2 some suggestion he had made and had, in turn, given offense in my answer. “Besides,” I added, “the guy just doesn't like me.”
Craig looked down at the passing figure. “Maybe you've got it wrong,” he said, “Maybe you're the one who's turning away and you're just doing that because you're afraid. He probably thinks you don't like him, so he's not friendly. People like people who like them. If you show an interest in him, he'll be interested in you. Go talk to him.”
Craig's words smarted3. I walked tentatively down the stairs into the parking lot. I greeted my professor warmly, and asked how his summer had been. He looked at me, genuinely4 surprised. We walked off together talking, and I could imagine Craig watching from the window, smiling broadly.
Craig had explained to me a simple concept, so simple I couldn't believe I'd never known it. Like most young people, I felt unsure of myself and came to all my encounters5 fearing that others would judge me, when in fact they were worrying about how I would judge them. From that day on, instead of seeing judgment in the eyes of others, I recognized the need people have to make a connection and to share something about themselves. I discovered a world of people I never would have known otherwise.
Once, for example, on a train going across Canada, I began talking to a man everyone was avoiding because he was weaving and slurring6 his speech as if drunk. It turned out that he was recovering from a stroke7. He had been an engineer on the same line we were riding, and long into the night he revealed to me the history beneath every mile of track: Pile O'Bones Creek8, named for the thousands of buffalo skeletons9 left there by Indian hunters; the legend of Big Jack, a Swedish track-layer who could lift 500-pound steel rails; a conductor named McDonald who kept a rabbit as his traveling companion.
As the morning sun began to tint10 the horizon, he grabbed my hand and looked into my eyes. “Thanks for listening. Most people wouldn't bother.” He didn't have to thank me. The pleasure had been all mine.
On a noisy street corner in Oakland, California, a family who stopped me for directions turned out to be visitors from Australia's isolated northwest coast. I asked them about their life back home. Soon, over coffee, they regaled11 me with stories of huge saltwater crocodiles “with backs as wide as car hoods” near their home.
Each encounter became an adventure, each person a lesson in life. The wealthy, the poor, the powerful and the lonely, all were as full of dreams and doubts as I. And each had a unique story to tell, if only I had the ears to hear.
An old, stubble-bearded12 hobo13 told me how he'd fed his family during the Depression14 by firing his shotgun into a pond and gathering up the stunned15 fish that floated to the surface. A traffic patrolman16 confided how he'd learned his hand gestures by watching bullfighters17 and symphony18 conductors. And a young beautician19 shared the joy of watching residents in a nursing home smile after receiving a new hairstyle.
How often we allow such opportunities to pass us by！The girl who everyone thinks is homely20, the boy with the odd clothes， those people have stories to tell, as surely as you do. And like you, they dream that someone is willing to hear.
This is what Craig knew. Like people first, ask questions later. See if the light you shine on others isn't reflected back on you a hundredfold21.
克雷格是我在研究生院交的一位好友，他无论走到哪儿都会带来活力与生气。当你讲话时他会全神贯注地聆听，因此在他开始听你讲话时，你感觉自己比以前更重要。人人都喜爱他。
一个阳光明媚的秋日，我和克雷格坐在我们平常学习的地方。我凝视着窗外，看见我的一位教授正穿过停车场朝这边走来。
“我不想撞上他。”我说。
“为什么？”克雷格问我。
我解释说，上个春季学期我与教授不欢而散，因为他提的某个建议令我感到委屈，答话时我也反唇相讥，得罪了他。“另外，”我补充说，“那家伙就是对我没好感。”
克雷格朝下看着教授走过的身影，说：“也许是你弄错了，有可能是你先不理他的。你之所以这么做是因为你害怕。也许他还以为你不喜欢他呢，因此也就对你态度不友好。人们总是喜欢那些喜欢自己的人，如果你对他感兴趣，他也会对你产生兴趣的。去跟他谈谈。”
克雷格一语中的。我犹豫不决地下了楼朝停车场走去，热情地跟教授寒暄起来，问他暑假过得怎么样。教授起初确实有些吃惊地看着我，随后我们边走边聊。我可以想象克雷格从窗户中看到这一幕时，他会笑得多开心。
克雷格给我阐明了一个简单的道理，这么简单，使我不敢相信自己竟然从不知道。像大多数年轻人一样，我对自己缺乏自信，遇到他人时总担心别人会怎么看我，而实际上他们也正在担心我会怎么看他们。从那以后，我意识到人与人之间是需要交流的，需要去分享彼此的苦与乐，而不是在意别人对自己的评价。由此我结识了许多人，如果不是这样的话，我是绝不会认识他们的。
例如，在一次乘火车穿越加拿大时，我开始与一个大家都避而不理的人交谈。这个人中过风，身体正在康复之中，他像醉汉一样身体抖动不止，口齿含糊不清。他曾是我们旅行的这条铁路上的工程师。夜深后，他给我讲述了这条铁路每段铁轨所包含的故事：派尔·奥博恩斯·格雷克河是以印第安狩猎者留下的数千副野牛骨架来命名的；另一个关于大个子杰克的传说，杰克是一位瑞典籍铺轨工人，他可以举起500磅重的钢轨；还有一位叫麦当劳的售票员总是带一只兔子陪伴旅行的轶事。
当清晨的朝阳染红了地平线时，他紧紧握住我的手，凝视着我的眼睛说：“感谢你听了我的故事，大多数人都会厌烦的。”他真的不必谢我，因为我也从中得到了快乐。
在加州奥克兰市的一个喧嚣的街角，一家人拦住我问路，原来他们是从澳大利亚偏僻的西北海岸来美旅行的。我向他们询问有关他们家乡生活的情况，很快，他们边喝着咖啡边向我讲述他们家乡附近巨大的咸水鳄的故事，这些鳄鱼的“脊背有小汽车发动机罩那么宽”。
每一次与他人的相识都意味着一段奇遇，每个人都是一堂人生之课：有钱的，没钱的，有权有势的，孤独寂寞的，都和我一样有着各种各样的梦想和疑虑。如果我愿意倾听，每个人都有一个独特的故事。
一个上了年纪、满脸胡茬的流浪汉告诉我，经济大萧条时为了养家糊口，他如何用枪对准池塘开火，然后将震昏后漂到水面上的鱼捞起；一位交通警察吐露了他如何从观察斗牛士和交响乐指挥的动作中学习打手势；一位年轻的美容师看到住疗养院的疗养者换了一个新发型后高兴地笑了，他也与我分享了这份喜悦。
多少次我们让这样的机会从我们身边溜走！那个人们都认为姿色平平的小姑娘，那个着装古怪的小伙子，肯定都和你一样有要讲的故事。他们也会像你一样希望有人倾听他们的故事。
这就是克雷格所明白的道理。首先喜欢他人，然后再发问，看看你洒在别人身上的阳光会不会得到一百倍的反射。
1. run into 撞上，偶遇
2. take offense at... 对…生气，因…见怪
3. smart v. 造成或感到（身体或精神方面的）痛苦
4. genuinely adv. 真实地，真地
5. encounter n. 相遇，邂逅
6. slur v. 含糊地说出
7. stroke n. 中风
8. Pile O'Bones Creek 又名Wascana Creek,(加拿大)瓦斯卡那河
9. buffalo n. 美洲野牛 skeleton [?謖skelit?藜n] n. 骨架，骨骼
10. tint v. 给…着色（染色）
11. regale v. （以故事、笑话等）娱（人）
12. stubble-bearded adj. 留胡须的
13. hobon. 流浪汉，游民
14. the Depression 大萧条（指1929年到1930年的世界性严重经济萧条）
15. stun v. 把…打昏，使昏迷
16. patrolman n. 巡警
17. bullfighter n. 斗牛士
18. symphony n. 交响乐，交响曲
19. beautician n. 美容师，美容专家
20. homely adj. （人或容貌）不好看的，相貌平平的
21. hundredfold n. 百倍，百重